LOVE. A Personal Reflection written by Janine Van Maren

                I’ve traveled before. I’ve come home with varying emotions. There was the time that I came home from a trip with a friend, bursting with energy, excited to look through all of the crazy and fun pictures we had taken.  There was the time I came home feeling relieved: happy to be back with family, in a normal environment.  I was taken far out of my comfort zones, and came home different than I left. I had moments of joy, of fun, of meaning, but always came home. 

                But this time was different. This time I left, and I came back in love. Perhaps it sounds cliché to say “I loved the trip” or “I loved the kids” or “I loved the organization.”  But this time I got back, and the only word I could think of to describe my trip was love. I fell in love.


                My first days with Sunrise of Life in Tanzania were spent taking it in. Read my journal from the first days, and you’ll hear of the loneliness that comes with being an English-speaker in a country where Swahili is the first language. You will hear of the challenges that come with trying to make a schedule, but then after only a day realizing that the schedule won’t be followed. You will hear of the frustration that comes with teaching a big group of teenagers English.  You will hear of the wish for internet and communication with home.  In those first days I spent a lot of time sitting: not because I didn’t want to work, but simply because it needs to be taken in.


                But on an ordinary Thursday morning I traveled to the Drop-In Center. It was there that I heard the stories of the three boys who were living with the Social worker there at the time. I think it was that morning that my perspective started to shift.  I came home and joined in a rowdy game of soccer. I kept stopping myself, asking myself “how can you laugh when you have just heard such stories?”  But, there were goals to be scored, boys to be fist-bumped, and sunsets to be watched.   The next morning, back at the Residential Center, I looked into the faces of Joshua, Joseph, Kelvin, Diana, and John.  I now no longer saw the cute, bouncy, hyper little preschoolers, but I also had a glimpse into their past.  I helped wash their laundry, I hauled water in the garden, I chopped veggies in the kitchen.  But I couldn’t stop thinking about what I had heard. Spending a few mornings doing outreach meant that I now also couldn’t stop thinking about what I had seen.



                Trying to pinpoint the moment that I fell in love is difficult. Maybe it was the morning I woke up and thought “I don’t have any plans for my teaching today, but I can’t wait to teach anyways.”  Maybe it was the night that I sat on the front stoop, chatting with the teenagers about travel and far-away countries, watching the stars that are the same around the world.  Maybe it was the day that we played “Duck-Duck-Goose” for the first time, and ended up with close to twenty people playing.  Maybe it was the night when talking to Peace about all the challenges that come with working with street children.  But I think mostly it was waking up and just feeling so blessed to be with them. 





                Let’s skip forward in my diary to late August, the days that I was leaving, the days that I came home.  My impending departure meant that everyone held on a little extra tight: longer snuggles, lots of conversations, endless “I’m going to miss you’s.”  Seeing them gathered in front of me to say goodbye, I laughed. I laughed because it was either that or cry. I laughed at the speeches they gave, I laughed at the faces they made for my pictures, I laughed because I just liked them so much.  I admired the sunset, craning my neck backwards in the truck to catch every last glimpse of the golden sun as it went behind Mount Meru.  I chatted with everyone around me in the airport, agreed with the Customs officer who said “we will see you again” and boarded the plane.  And that’s when I knew. I knew I didn’t want to go home where everything was comfortable.  I wanted to stay. To stay through the good days and the hard days and the frustrating days. I wanted to be the one to finish teaching the alphabet. Who will teach Adam and Twaha long division?  And what about Kelvin: he needs my help with this Literature homework at nights.  And so, the return from this trip was different from all others.





                I’ll be back, Sunrise of Life Family, because I like you. I like the work that you do.  I like that you tirelessly work towards your mission of helping street children.  I like that even on the hardest of days, you are making a difference

Comments

  1. Janine,

    This is written with perfection, and as you so nicely put "Love". I am so glad you had the opportunities to see what Sunrise of Life does, and why. It is at the core of all we do, we do it for love. We all look forward to working with you in the multiple avenues of Sunrise of Life both in Canada and in Tanzania, and maybe even in America! Thank-you for everything you have done, it did not go unnoticed. I remember the first time I phoned Peace after you arrived in Tanzania. Her reply to my question, "Has Janine made it".... "Yes Tom, she has made it, she is a very hard working, and a very good volunteer. She won't stop working". I knew at that moment that Tanzania had stolen your heart.

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