LOVE. A Personal Reflection written by Janine Van Maren
I’ve
traveled before. I’ve come home with varying emotions. There was the time that
I came home from a trip with a friend, bursting with energy, excited to look
through all of the crazy and fun pictures we had taken. There was the time I came home feeling
relieved: happy to be back with family, in a normal environment. I was taken far out of my comfort zones, and
came home different than I left. I had moments of joy, of fun, of meaning, but
always came home.
But
this time was different. This time I left, and I came back in love. Perhaps it
sounds cliché to say “I loved the trip” or “I loved the kids” or “I loved the
organization.” But this time I got back,
and the only word I could think of to describe my trip was love. I fell in
love.
My
first days with Sunrise of Life in Tanzania were spent taking it in. Read my
journal from the first days, and you’ll hear of the loneliness that comes with
being an English-speaker in a country where Swahili is the first language. You
will hear of the challenges that come with trying to make a schedule, but then
after only a day realizing that the schedule won’t be followed. You will hear
of the frustration that comes with teaching a big group of teenagers
English. You will hear of the wish for
internet and communication with home. In
those first days I spent a lot of time sitting: not because I didn’t want to
work, but simply because it needs to be taken in.
But on
an ordinary Thursday morning I traveled to the Drop-In Center. It was there
that I heard the stories of the three boys who were living with the Social
worker there at the time. I think it was that morning that my perspective
started to shift. I came home and joined
in a rowdy game of soccer. I kept stopping myself, asking myself “how can you
laugh when you have just heard such stories?”
But, there were goals to be scored, boys to be fist-bumped, and sunsets
to be watched. The next morning, back at the Residential
Center, I looked into the faces of Joshua, Joseph, Kelvin, Diana, and
John. I now no longer saw the cute,
bouncy, hyper little preschoolers, but I also had a glimpse into their
past. I helped wash their laundry, I
hauled water in the garden, I chopped veggies in the kitchen. But I couldn’t stop thinking about what I had
heard. Spending a few mornings doing outreach meant that I now also couldn’t
stop thinking about what I had seen.
Trying
to pinpoint the moment that I fell in love is difficult. Maybe it was the
morning I woke up and thought “I don’t have any plans for my teaching today,
but I can’t wait to teach anyways.”
Maybe it was the night that I sat on the front stoop, chatting with the
teenagers about travel and far-away countries, watching the stars that are the
same around the world. Maybe it was the
day that we played “Duck-Duck-Goose” for the first time, and ended up with
close to twenty people playing. Maybe it
was the night when talking to Peace about all the challenges that come with
working with street children. But I
think mostly it was waking up and just feeling so blessed to be with them.
Let’s
skip forward in my diary to late August, the days that I was leaving, the days
that I came home. My impending departure
meant that everyone held on a little extra tight: longer snuggles, lots of
conversations, endless “I’m going to miss you’s.” Seeing them gathered in front of me to say
goodbye, I laughed. I laughed because it was either that or cry. I laughed at
the speeches they gave, I laughed at the faces they made for my pictures, I
laughed because I just liked them so much.
I admired the sunset, craning my neck backwards in the truck to catch
every last glimpse of the golden sun as it went behind Mount Meru. I chatted with everyone around me in the
airport, agreed with the Customs officer who said “we will see you again” and
boarded the plane. And that’s when I
knew. I knew I didn’t want to go home where everything was comfortable. I wanted to stay. To stay through the good
days and the hard days and the frustrating days. I wanted to be the one to
finish teaching the alphabet. Who will teach Adam and Twaha long division? And what about Kelvin: he needs my help with
this Literature homework at nights. And
so, the return from this trip was different from all others.
I’ll be
back, Sunrise of Life Family, because I like you. I like the work that you
do. I like that you tirelessly work
towards your mission of helping street children. I like that even on the hardest of days, you
are making a difference
Janine,
ReplyDeleteThis is written with perfection, and as you so nicely put "Love". I am so glad you had the opportunities to see what Sunrise of Life does, and why. It is at the core of all we do, we do it for love. We all look forward to working with you in the multiple avenues of Sunrise of Life both in Canada and in Tanzania, and maybe even in America! Thank-you for everything you have done, it did not go unnoticed. I remember the first time I phoned Peace after you arrived in Tanzania. Her reply to my question, "Has Janine made it".... "Yes Tom, she has made it, she is a very hard working, and a very good volunteer. She won't stop working". I knew at that moment that Tanzania had stolen your heart.