Being Home- By Maria

December 2^nd 2014

When I was asked to write a blog post about what it is like being home I really didn’t know what to say.  I would tap out a few sentences on my computer before sliding over them and deleting the whole thing.  To be honest I don’t know how I feel to be home.  I am not sad or mad at my society as I was told I would most likely feel.  I actually spent the first few days home just thoroughly enjoying every aspect of my old daily life.  I felt as though my heart would burst most days,  a warm home with family and animals all around me, a community of people that ask how I am every time I enter the coffee shop or the local hardware store, waking up to comfort and familiarity.  Now that I have been home for a few weeks though I still don’t know how to feel.  I have been told I don’t smile as much as I used to and that I talk much less frequently.  It isn’t that the experience which I had hardened me to the world or took away some of the joy which used to reside within me.  I guess at this point I don’t know why these things have happened.  Perhaps it is the constant pull of the memories of that month.  Whenever I find my mind drifting off it is without a doubt back in the center with the kids and consumed by the culture they live in.  I feel a bit like I have lost something.  The funniest thing though is that I don’t feel the pain in my heart that I usually feel in times of lose.  It’s kind of like that place took a little part of my being.  My mind and heart have left a little piece of themselves back there.  I like this though.  Although it sometimes influences my life here in a unfavorable way I am okay with that because I know some part of me no matter how small stayed back with the kids and although this may not give them any comfort or even effect them in anyway, I will always be comforted by the thought of all the energy and feeling which I left in that place half way around the world.